Sunday 21 April 2013

Good Shepherd Sunday

Having lost my faith and understanding of Gods will particularly after I lost the boys and in my moments of darkness I do question still Gods will. In the sense that, why "giveth to taketh away"?

Today's newsletter from Mass included words from my priest about Good Shepherd Sunday (today).

He was talking about vocation into the priesthood for himself and for others and quoted Cardinal John Henry Newman who stated his vocation was "Gods definite purpose" for him and that there was a definite purpose for everyone.

The priest posed the question "What is God's definite purpose [for me]?"

I am yet to understand my journey or purpose and wonder why there was a reason I had to have children on heaven and earth. But I wonder if anyone can say what is their purpose?

I think of an acquaintance  Kristine, who is campaigning for CHD newborn screening after the death of her beautiful girl, Cora (www.corastory.org). She has taken her girlie's death and is empowering others and saving babies lives in the process. Was this God's purpose for her?

Friday 19 April 2013

Update from Me!

Well, hopefully, you can see I have had a bit of a revamp! I wasn't overly keen on the last one and found this which I think is more me!

I am also now on Pinterest (not that I know what I am doing!) if you would like to follow me!

Not much else has changed here, Princess has been poorly and we have all felt the effects of it.

I've been helping two local families by providing support whilst they are in hospital and it's been a really ego boost :-)

The diet is failing and I need to get my butt in gear for a family wedding on the 1st June!

xx

Monday 8 April 2013

All out of sorts

Haven't posted for a while as haven't been able to put into words why I'm out of sorts. "Something" feels odd.

Lets start with some positives. Firstly, I finally cracked the weight loss and met my newest baby boy. He was so snuggly, only 3weeks and 5 days until he comes and lives with us.

Negatives.... Cracked the weightloss and lost focus again. Put it all back on :-( I'm so frustrated and I have a wedding in 8 weeks but I feel like I'm still going to be the fat one. Why can't I just lose weight. Husband thinks I should just accept this is where I am going to be weight wise but I look in the mirror and I hate everything I see. I've had toast and tea this morning

I feel like I am plastering a smile on my face when I don't feel at ease inside. Why is that?

I am worried about getting my boy. What if we are meant to only be a family of girls? My boys live in Heaven, what if he does do? I'm scared.

Bleurgh, sorry for the random post of jumble