I am not an expert but can only relay through my experiences.
At the time of both boys' death, I shrugged off all advice regarding the whole process.
The phrase 'time is a great healer' came up frequently and to me, this is wrong. Time does not heal. Time allows you to work out what feels right and also how to deal with the pain.
I cope with the pain now better as I have lived with it for nearly 2.5 years now. The pain gets easier to live with.
In time things feel natural. Sometimes you have to bite the bullet but there is no manual to how to grieve.
Do you remember when you had your baby and you would wish that it came with a manual when it's been screaming for hours and is not hungry, dirty, tired etc?? In time you figured out what each cry meant and what they liked etc. Same for grieving. It's all about figuring out what feels right..
Do not let anyone push you in to feeling like you should be further along in the grieving process. This is individual. However, remember it is not just you grieving. Grief can be selfish and it's hard to realise that you are not the only person missing them and upset. Tell people you want to talk about the baby, they are as much of apart of you than anything else.
I always say I have 3 children, 2 in heaven and 1 on earth.
Do what feels right to you.
