As many of people across the country, I watched the TV adaptation of Lisa Lynch's book, based on her successful blog, Alright Tit.
I, like most people, know the devestating impact cancer has on people. I am grateful to not have known it in my immediate circle of friends or family.
Though the innate selfish person within me, almost wonders, had my boys been cancer kids instead of heart kids, would the social acceptance be more present?
But that is the selfish person in me, wishing that there was more awareness of congenital heart defects. (NB: more children die yearly from some form of congenital heart defect than they do from ALL childhood cancers - so to be blunt, you are more likely to have a heart kid than a cancer kid and for them to die but hey, the compassion / awareness / knowledge is all to present in every aspect of media life for cancer #getsoffherboxtocontinuewithherramblings)
My point of this innate rambling is the way Lisa speaks about blogging. How the almost-anonymous world of blogging is so cathartic in times of strife.
How bloody true!
This <whole blog> is my story, my ramblings, my journey of living after loss, parenting after loss, raising my rainbow baby, mourning, grieving.
There is no time limit on grief.
There is no manual on how to deal with life after loss. When that loss is your 4.5mth old baby boy or your 17w5d (gestation) old baby boy.
I don't pour my heart and soul into this blog, thinking that Steven Gerrard will read it and fall madly in love with me. I do it so that I let everything out, its cathartic, it's a way of processing my thoughts and feelings. So that when I am having a truly shitty day and thinking what the hell - I can see, look how far you have come babes, you've made it this far, you can keep going.
Believe it or not, I never kept a diary as a teenager - too much effort LOL! I preferred switching off and going to sleep rather than write about my meaningless day where the boy I fancied never looked my way or the cow bag who kept giving me filthy looks tripped over and fell flat on her face (please note, this are not actual events from school - I tend to block out most of what happened there as I didn't enjoy it!). I always started each year with the intention of keeping one but never lasted long enough for it to be worthy!
Now I flit in and out, when I have something to get off my chest (Dear Stevie G, you never need to get off my chest ;-) ); I hope that there is a babyloss mumma reading this who is fresh on her journey of life after loss and isn't thinking 'jeez, who's this nutter?!' but getting something from my honest ramblings and all it takes is to find the outlet of where you can truly be honest of how life truly is!
xx
