Of course, I naturally changed after losing my boys and she was by my side throughout it all! Like she was by my side when I had my rainbow princess.
She said that she told me last year she felt I had changed. I didn't know what she meant but I can see it now.
I feel more comfortable with who I am and what I want from life. It means that I've a different approach for life but I still think I'm me.
Subconsciously, I think we've been withdrawing from each other for some time now and it seemed we had to make an effort to see each other rather than it be natural. Hubby thinks it's because princess started preschool so we have a new friendship circle, one that she's not apart of as its people with children the same age as her.
The stupid thing is it started over some cards and its escalated from there. She's in a tense situation where her mum is in hospital from being hit by a car so I tried to reasons with her, saying I know things are tense but I was told in no uncertain terms it was a bunch of crap.
The difference being is this time when she had a go at me, I didn't roll over and apologise but I stood up for myself and i told her a few things that had bothered me. That didn't go down well.
So whilst I am upset that I possibly have lost my best friend, I can't keep stepping on egg shells around her and watching what I say. The worse bit possibly is the fact I am not deeply upset about it. I left it up to her to decide but she never replied. I can't and won't chase her for an answer and just hope she comes back to me.
