I don't do it. I physically cannot say 'I need help'.
Except I need to do this tomorrow at the GPs.
I'm not seeing my usual lovely GP as she seems to be on holiday but a different one - I class him as the boss man of the surgery. I've seen him twice before, once for eldest and once for princess. He scares me because he is the boss man.
But it is because he is the boss man that I opted for an appointment with him.
What do I need help with?
Lots really.
Apart from the usual dippiness - which seems to be hitting new highs lately; pain, but I guess until my medication is up to the full dose, we won't know if that is helping.
Mainly, the fatigue and weight issues.
Once my head hits the pillow, I am out like a light. I cannot be rouse in the morning. I don't hear princess get up, I don't hear husband's alarm or him getting up. He tries his best to rouse me. But it takes a good hour before I am even three-quarters awake.
On the weekends, I can easily sleep for 12-14hrs each night. I do feel better for naturally waking up but by the middle of the day, I could easily return to bed.
I cannot lose weight. I am now 8lb lighter than 30th December. I was marginally 11lb lighter. But the last 6 weeks has seen me lose 1lb, put 1lb on, lose half a pound, put it on. I gained 2lb last week because I went f##k it. Husband has been doing it same time as me and lost 2.5stone. I am so proud of him but I feel even frumpier next to him.
I'm fighting an uphill battle and I know losing weight will give me the self confidence I crave but I am tired of fighting it when it hasn't been worth it at all.
I had my thyroid rechecked last week because the previous one, 6 weeks ago, flagged up an unusual error.
The results stated I need to speak with a GP.
So I know before I even go in tomorrow, he is going to say, it's my thyroid. But I want to stamp my feet and say 'hang on, we can't always put it down to my thyroid'. It's depressing, even for this manic depressive with anxiety and OCD issues.
I just need help. Constructive help.
Or someone to wire my gob shut!
