Such is an ambiguous title, that I am hoping you will bear with me on this one. It is a post that I hope will have some truthfulness for many people.
Today was a day where I reflected on what has happened to me personally. My story. In actual fact, I was deep in thoughtfulness about the medical side of me. You see, I have almost double booked myself for the morning and I was thinking for the one appointment that I perhaps will need to cancel, and sadly thus, on paper, I am not a very good (attendance wise) patient. But all they have are paper notes about me. This is not a reflection of who I am, of my story and of my journey. It is merely a name, with a list of current ailments.
So what is the story behind the name? Does anyone dare to ask? Not me per se but anyone.
I have never divulged my real name on here or personified this blog in any way; mainly due to the fact that I like the ambiguity.
So for the sake of this story, let's create a pseudonym for the purpose of this: Cara McDermott.
The appropriate boxes need to be completed - relationship status, children, work.
I was watching a programme (okay, guilty pleasure trashy TV) the other day and this couple were discussing their current relationship status. They had been married, maybe coming up to a year and the assumption was children immediately followed marriage and anything less than the assumption was considered 'not normal'.
Sadly, I am and was normal. A almost stereotypical catholic girl (I say almost as if I was a stereotypical catholic girl there would have been no sex before wedlock!) where first comes marriage, then comes a baby (in a golden carriage - you wanted to sing it really!!!).
But that is where my "normal" story ends as I am categorised by the number of living children I have and not by the number of children who I hold in my heart. So for the medical professional who is making the assumption that I am a married, stay at home mum to 1 child, is very far from the truth. This is your black and white version. This is what they have chosen to see and assume about me.
The grey version will probably look a bit like this:
Married at 23, First Baby at 24, Second Baby at 25, Third Baby at 27.
It may even included their deaths.
But that still isn't the story though is it? How many "grey" versions can we make? The list would be endless, wouldn't it?
However, because of the way society dictates that the world we live in needs to be lived in the black and white version; it means we rarely know the story behind the [black and white] name.
The abridged, coloured, version would start like this: She met her soul mate at the young age of 16, married him when she was 24 years old and just a month shy of her 25th birthday, they had a beautiful baby boy. He had a very poorly heart but got medically stable before his unexpected death, aged just 4 1/2 months old. Her world fell to pieces with a light being she found out she was pregnant 6 weeks after his death. But when things started to look up, she and her husband once again suffered the single most devastating thing to happen to any parent, again. They lost another, very much loved son with a poorly heart. Her universe fell to pieces and it took a long time to begin to piece back together and they never will all go back together. Finally, they were blessed with a baby girl, who is hopefully here to stay.
So when you reach out to someone and make new friends or acquaintances... after you ask their name; why not make your next question, so what's the story behind your name? Watch their windows to their soul light up at the fact, you really do want to know their story.
