I logged on to write this post which I admit I've been thinking a while about - and in my featured blog sections is the blog about the Palmer Family. Kimberley's latest post is called 'Parenting Without Fear'.
She lightly touches upon what I am going to say.
My irrational thoughts regarding parenting. You've read my blog (well, I hope so by now!) so you know the background, but sometimes I get all consumed with fear for Princess. What if she gets cancer? What if she gets run over? What if she gets murdered? What if she gets a brain tumour? And general thoughts along those lines.
You may argue that each one of those sad events happen to only a small percentage of the population - HOWEVER - need I remind you of the statistics when it comes to having a child with Congenital Heart Defects? Just 1 in 100 people. And I had 2 babies with heart defects. I always said when I was pregnant that I would rather be given the smaller statistic as that feels more liveable than the supposed 'safe' statistic. 10% chance Princess had of having a heart defect. 1-2% of any one person having a child with a CHD.
So whilst on the surface I know my sadistic thoughts perhaps are the thoughts of a mad person, and are generally compounded by every day news of another murder, stabbing, abduction, news of children dying etc - it is very real to me.
I was reading a conversation between two friends on Facebook about how when they are not with their children and have a 'night off' they spend the time checking up on the children or talking about them. One said they had only left their children a handful of times. Husband and I have never both left our daughter with anyone else. I just about left her for 3 nights (2 separate occasions in case you are a newbie) and that was with my husband. He has never left us. I feel like someone has their hands around my throat when I think of her going off to pre-school and then big school.
We have half talked about home schooling her but the fear is there of being told I can't cut the apron strings. It's not that, I just can't begin to imagine being without her. She will love it. I know that much.
My little girl is growing up and soon won't be as dependent on me. Or is it that I am dependent on her?
