A heart mummy

It felt no different as I knew no different. He was taken straight away from me, he was quite poorly by all accounts. Me? Well I went into shock and didn't quite come to for a few hours.

They took him to NICU after I was allowed to stroke his face. None of this straight up on to mum malarky you see in all the pregnancy programmes.

I saw him when he was 24 hours old, he was in PICU by then. He had emergency heart surgery at 12 hours old. I had been on bed rest the previous 24 hours and fainting whilst trying to get in the shower meant a blood transfusion and only then was I allowed to move.

What did I see when I saw him? My beautiful, precious baby boy. I didn't see the various different wires or tubes coming out of him, I saw him. I saw my precious boy who looked so much like his daddy.

We spent 7 weeks in hospital and he had further surgery at 5 weeks old. It became home and was daunting leaving but we almost ran out of there, scared that they would change their minds.

Whilst we were discharged with a list of do's and don't's and lots of medicines, life settled into a good routine, despite the endless appointments with health visitors, hospitals, nurses.

We knew no different

There is a point to this, I promise. It takes a while to understand why I am telling you all this but in the end it will be clear you may have to come back and read this again.

Just as we get complacent,
life changes again.

I
become
an
angel
mummy

:-(